Unplanned
by SessysGirl219
Summary: Sesshoumaru visits Kagome and reflects on their relationship.
1. Chapter 1

Even now, he could not believe that she was gone. She had been such a huge part of his life, even though they had not had a long time together. Only twelve years…they go by in a blink for one with such a long lifespan as he.

He had not set out to love her…it was never his intention. Without the love that he held for her in his heart, he would not be in the pain that he now was. He would not feel such a crushing feeling in his breast every time that he thought of living for the next minute, hour, day, week, month, year, decade, century, millennium, eternity, without her by his side. He was still counting the time since her passing (eighteen months, five days, three hours, and sixteen minutes)…how long would he continue to? How long would it be until he had a minute where he did not think _she is dead?_ How long would be until a day went by that he did not think of her smile? Her laugh? Her taste? The sound of her cries, the day she died?

He had not set out to love her. She was a human, she was a miko, worst of all, she belonged to his hated half-brother. She loved him. She was never meant to be his, and he was never meant to love her. Fate rarely listened to what it was that we set out to do, however. He first grew to respect her, then later that respect grew to admiration. It was only later that he grew to love her. He fought by her side, he saved her life, he was saved by her in return. She taught him to laugh. She taught him tolerance, which in the end salvaged his relationship with the last of his blood. She taught him so many things…why couldn't she have taught him how to survive without her? How could she have left him?

He had not set out to love her, but apparently, his beast had other thoughts on the subject. No one had understood their relationship. He had nearly lost his kingdom for her. He had fought many bloody battles to win the right to take a human mate, to make her the Lady of the Western Lands. In the end, it was Inuyasha's staunch support that helped him turn the tide. With his lands secure and his love by his side, he returned to the Western Citadel to begin his life.

She had given so much to him. She gave him a new purpose. He had given away his dreams of supreme conquest, because he had found it in her eyes. He found it in her touch, in her whispered endearments in his ear, and in the unwavering support and love that she gave to him. She gave him the courage to show Rin how much he really cared for her, and give her the love the love he would a daughter (which is exactly what Sesshoumaru thought of her as). She gave him the courage to make amends with his brother, showed him how to lose the hatred and hurt that had come from his father setting aside his mother to pursue Izayoi, and showed him that it was not Inuyasha's fault, and that he should no longer be blamed for the mistakes of his parents. She gave him hope. Hope that he could be happy, that the barriers that he had placed around his emotions could be broken, that he would not be lonely for the entirety of his life.

She gave him love.

And on the last day of her life, she gave him a son.

Sesshoumaru stood there, before her grave, and could not believe that she was gone. How would he explain to his son, his full-youkai son, that she was gone? How was he going to tell him about the beautiful, kind, courageous, wise, and wonderful woman that his mother was? How was he going to raise his son to understand what a gift his mother had given to him. To them both? How could he ever be able to express to their child just how much he had loved his mate? How would any words be enough? How?

How could you tell a pup that his mother was no longer there? That she had chosen to leave them?

He had not set out to love her. But he did. He did. And she was gone, and he did not know how to go on without her. He wasn't sure that he wanted to anymore.

When the last breath left her body, he wanted to die with her. But he could not. He looked down at her petite body, cut from breast bone to pubic bone, flayed open, and he knew that he could not follow her. She had sacrificed too much, and even given her very life, to see that their pup, their son, lived. He could not dishonor her so much, could not make her sacrifice in vain. He must stay on this plane, for their son, so that he could grow to be a proud, honorable youkai, and could know about his mother, about her compassion, her honor, and above all, her never-ending love. He would show her the honor she deserved.

When they first knew that she was with pup, she was so happy, she outshone the sun. Her entire pregnancy she was happy and hopeful. When she first went into labor, she was scared of the pain but anxious to meet their son. She could not wait to hold him in her arms. She couldn't wait to see his face. When her labor was entering the second day, she was afraid. She begged him to help her.

As much as he did not want to face the truth, he knew he must. He had failed her. He had failed them all.

He tried in vain to find a healer to help her. He even shot off in his orb to find a healer on the continent. He did not want to leave his distressed mate's side, but he knew something had to be done. He could not find what he searched for, and returned to the Citadel empty-handed.

She did not berate him. She did not blame him. She beckoned him closer and asked him to do the one thing that could save her. The one thing he could not do.

She asked him to cut the pup from her body.

He pleaded with her to be strong. He promised her he would find another way. He begged her to stay with him.

She told him that either he could save the pup, or he could lose them both. She pleaded with him to be strong. She promised him there was no other way. She begged him to let her go.

In the end, she whispered in his ear that no matter what, she would find a way back to him. Love like theirs could not be stopped by death. She swore she would find him again.

He relented. He used his claws, and freed his son from her womb. He turned towards her after he lifted the boy free. He wanted to see her, to see her as she saw their pup. He was too late. By the time he turned his face back to her, she was gone.

He kissed her, he shook her, he begged her to come back, but it was too late. She had died before she was even able to see their pup, to see that it had her impossibly blue eyes and his impossibly silver hair. She never got to see the markings that stood out on the pup's chubby face, or the fact that he not only had Sesshoumaru's markings but a star-shaped scar on his side, in exactly the place where the Shikon no Tama had been torn from his mother.

The next few weeks were a blur. The funerals. The overwhelming joy of a pup, an heir, and the overwhelming sadness of losing his mate. The public celebrations and the outcries of mourning. The people had learned to love her, as all eventually did, and were elated and crushed by the news of the day.

He shuddered as he thought back on having to notify his brother, of her former tachi. He thought of the pain he saw in the face of his ward. He thought of how Jaken had staggered when he heard the news. She had even won over the heart of his human-hating vassal. It seemed like the horrors of those first days and weeks would never end.

Now he stood here, at her grave, and for the first time, felt tears in his eyes. He held his son, and let them fall down his face. They left a mark on him, as bright as the sun and as permanent as ink. They did not mark his impossibly handsome features, they marked his soul. These marks, left by his sorrow and tears and love, would burn like a beacon, guiding her soul back to him. He nuzzled his son, and told him what a wonderful woman his mother was, and how much he loved her, even though he had not set off to love her.

He looked down at her grave and whispered to her, "You promised, miko. Come back to me. I can love no other."

He turned, and walked away.

* * *

At that moment, the Lady of the Northern Lands gave one last push, and at last, her kitten was free. She looked down at her newest daughter, and was shocked to see startling blue eyes and black hair. Her mate came in to see his newest kitten, and was surprised at the appearance. Since they were both youkai, and paternity was never a doubt, he was not put off by the black hair and blue eyes, even though his mate had red hair and green eyes, and he had yellow hair and purple eyes. He looked at his tiny daughter, with her striking features, her strange burgundy, and blue markings, and her pink marking on her side, in the shape of a star. He looked at her, and could not help thinking about the descriptions he had heard of the deceased Western Lady. The named slipped from his lips even before he knew it.

"Kagome."

The Lady of the North looked at him with a smile. "A lovely name, she shall be called Kagome."

* * *

Sesshoumaru felt a strange stirring in his soul as he flew back to the Citadel with his son in his arms. He could feel her presence around him once more, a gentle caress. He closed his eyes, hoping to savor it.

As the unseen hands left his face, he heard a message on the wind, "I always keep my promises, beloved…"

A peace he had not known since before his death swept over him.


	2. Chapter 2

**They could call him heartless all they wanted. There was only one who knew better, and she was dead. When he looked into the face of the young youkai that was the product of their union, he could feel the heart that they said he did not have breaking all over again. **

**They had chosen to name the heir to the Western Lands InuDaiki. When one saw him, they would agree that the name was fitting. The child of the west was truly great and shining. He seemed to burn with his own special light, an untamed mixture of youki and reiki. **

**She had never seen their child, but he knew that she would have been proud; would have cried and laughed and cooed over the physical manifestation of a love that had changed his world. A love that he had thought would transcend time itself.**

**She was supposed to be immortal. She was supposed to stay by his side for the rest of eternity. The mating bond of a miko and a daiyoukai should have made it so nothing could take her from him, but to his horror, there was one thing that could kill her. One thing that could make it so that not only would she die, but she would not be able to be revived by the mythical Fang of Heaven, the Tenseiga.**

**The could call him heartless all they wanted. He had had blood on his claws in the past, had spilt a river of it and had waded through an ocean of suffering on his way to supreme conquest over the years. The sight or smell of blood had never bothered him. Not until the blood on his claws was that of his own mate. **

**The blood that covered his claws the day his heir was born, **_**her**_** blood, was the reason he was now alone. To spill the blood of one's mate was a sacrilege to youkai everywhere, especially daiyoukai. To spill the blood of one's mate would make you an outcast, the worst kind of blasphemer. The fact that he had spilled her blood to save their pup, that he had done so on her orders had redeemed him in the eyes of his fellow youkai, but the fact that her life was lost because of **_**his**_** actions, that the claws that had split her open and taken her life had belonged to **_**him**_**, had nullified the protection of her mating mark, making her mortal. Making her weak. The fact that her blood stained his claws made Tenseiga stay silent in his hands, never to work on the one who truly held his heart in her hands.**

**They could call him heartless all they wanted. In a way, he supposed that they were right. When he finally fell over in exhaustion after trying everything he could to revive her; swiping Tenseiga over her mangled body until he could barely move his arm, kneeling beside her, begging her to return to him, prostrating himself on the ground begging the Kami to intercede…when he finally realized that nothing would work, he knew that his heart was gone…she had taken it with her into whatever world she was now in. She had left him in this one alone, and he didn't know exactly what to do anymore. He looked into the face of his heir, a few days old and crying for the mother he would never know, and steeled his resolve.**

**They could call him heartless all they wanted. He did not care. He would show his stoic mask to the world, and only allow one in. His son, his heir, the only thing left. InuDaiki would grow into a strong and proud youkai. He owed it to her.**

**Did she realize, when she asked him to dig his claws into her body to remove their pup, just what the consequences would be? Did she know that there was no going back? That she was damning him for all eternity?**

**He didn't think so. They could call him heartless all they wanted, but that would never be something that others would think to call her. Her heart had been as big as the sun, and as limitless as the stars. **

**He had picked himself up that day, and had raised his son as best as he knew how. He had tried to tell InuDaiki about his mother, but knew that no words could ever express just what a wonderful creature she truly was. The young inu had grown to be strong, and brave, and wise, and the one thing that his father was not. Not anymore.**

**He grew to be merciful. **

**They could call him heartless all they wanted, but InuDaiki knew better. He knew that his father had loved his mate. InuDaiki had heard about her for his entire life. His uncle would speak of her, but not very often. Inuyasha seemed particularly tormented whenever the subject of the late Western Lady was brought up, however he never withheld knowledge from his nephew. He was tortured by the thought that his friend had died and was not coming back. She had given so much to the world, but when it was finally time for her to rest, to have a peaceful and happy life, it was torn from her in the blink of an eye.**

**She had shown the hanyou the way to salvation, and had walked the entire rocky, perilous road with him. She had given him acceptance, love, self-worth, pride, and the family that he had always wanted. Once she had loved him as a mate, later, as a sister. She had **_**always**_** loved him as a friend. It was her love that had given him everything, and for that, he could never repay her. So he broke open the seals that held his broken heart together to tell her son about the wonderful woman his mother was, and to impart all the knowledge that she had shown the gruff hanyou. It was the least he could do, but that did not mean it did not hurt.**

**They could call him heartless all they wanted, but InuDaiki knew better. His father was not without a heart. For something to be broken, it had to be present in the first place. **

**Across the lands in the North, the newest daughter of the ruling daiyoukai stared out her window at the moon, and was unnaturally calmed by the cool, silver light that shone upon her face. She would spend hours staring at the moon, or staring off to the West, looking at nothing. Even for a cat, she was mysterious indeed. **

**AN: I have decided to expand, although I am not sure it was the right decision. Please let me know what you thing. Any and all advice is welcomed!**


	3. Chapter 3

She was so easy to discount. The young hime of the North, being the newest kitten born into that group, would not be someone that you would think held the heart of a warrior. When the kitten was born, her lady mother found out from the healers that while her youki was strong, and could heal nearly every wound, something had happened in this latest birth, and she would never be able to have any more kittens. The Lady and Lord of the North were sorrowed by this news, but still rejoiced at the birth of young Kagome. They were lucky, it would seem, that their last kitten was born healthy. Both knew, somehow, that she was special. That she was different.

As the last kitten of the North grew, people began to comment on how strange she was, how mysterious. When she was born, she had markings that were unlike any that feline youkai were known for. The strange thing was, as she grew, her markings changed. While she kept the stripes on her body, the crescent moon began to fade. The only time it would show after she reached her fifth year, was when the moon was in the exact same shape. On the night of the crescent moon, youki would flare around this female kitten, and the mark on her forehead would blaze, becoming a beacon to all around.

The first few months of this happening were a novelty to the youkai of the North. Soon it became commonplace. Even the extraordinary becomes ordinary with enough repetition.

On the night of the crescent moon, when the strange marking on her forehead shone like a torch, the young Kagome would go outside, and stare into the west. The first time someone saw her, they thought she was under some kind of spell. She would turn towards the west, and would cry. She did not make any noise, but the entire time, silent tears would stream from her amazing blue eyes. Her mother was greatly upset about this, but could do nothing to prevent it. They once tried to lock their daughter in a room on the night of the crescent moon, the wards powerful and supposedly unbreakable except by the one that cast them.

Once the markings on her forehead came to life, the little Kagome was able to break through the bonds holding her in, and proceeded to go outside for her monthly dance with the moon, the tears falling the entire night.

No one could explain why this happened, no seers would say a thing on the matter. No sorcerer would help. No one could tell the Northern rulers what was wrong with their kitten.

Soon, this too became commonplace. No one would wonder why the power emitted from the young kitten was so strange on that night. None would wonder why she would gaze into the west, none would wonder what the tears were for. This was just another part of everyday life, and the people accepted it. After all, she was so easy to discount.

Most youkai were strong. It was in the blood. The Lord and Lady of the North were certainly fierce. They ruled their lands with an iron fist. Some thought they were worse than the Lord of the West, Sesshoumaru. While these mates were strong, unfortunately, most of their offspring were not. Their older cats seemed determined to live a life of luxurious lazing in the sun, occasionally playing with inferior and weak prey before dining, and letting everyone else take on the responsibilities that came with being royalty. This was how the majority saw the felines of the North.

She was so easy to discount. People heard about her family, her siblings, and lumped her in with them. They thought her weak. They thought her lazy. They thought her indolent.

That was just how she wanted it. She wanted them to think that she was less than she was. It made them lazy, it made them less vigilant. It made them stupid.

She was so easy to discount, and that fact was the downfall of many. She lived under the guise of a silly, spoiled hime, when in fact, she held more power than most youkai could ever dream. She had the stealth of a cat, the guile of a kitsune, and the courage and honor of Lord.


	4. Chapter 4

No one can know the pain of separation as well as the one who is left behind. Inuyasha knew this as well as anyone. He felt the pain of her absence every day, and did not know how he was ever going to be able to put it behind him.

His heart had died three times. It should not be possible, but it was. The first time was when the supposed betrayal between Kikyou and himself, at the hands of Naraku, occurred. He had felt pain then, worse then when her sealing arrow pierced his heart. At the time, he welcomed the oblivion that death promised.

When Kagome released him from the seal, and he discovered that fifty years had gone by and the world had moved on, he felt that he might be able to put his life back together, to start anew. Here was this young girl, one who looked painfully like his lost Kikyou, and she was innocent, and different, and above all, she loved him. He became stronger with her at his side. He felt as if he could do no wrong when he saw himself through the mirror of her regard.

When he found that it was Naraku that had orchestrated the tragedy with Kikyou, he devoted his life to vengeance. When Kagome brought the jewel back into his world and then shattered it accidentally, he knew that keeping it out of the hands of the vile hanyou should take precedence over his vendetta, but it was so hard to separate the two.

No one can know the pain of separation as well as the one who is left behind. Inuyasha knew this as well as anyone. He felt the pain of his mother's death when his brother paraded the Un-mother in front of him, tortured her, to get Inuyasha to reveal the site of their father's tomb and the location of the Fang of Earth, the Tetsuaiga. Even though she had been dead for two hundred years, his heart still felt the constriction of loss when he saw her form, heard her voice. He rushed in blindly, not caring that he was leaving Kagome alone, leaving her at the mercy of his half-brother, the Aristocratic Assassin, the only one who could live up to a name that meant "Killing Perfection": the Lord of the Western Lands, Sesshoumaru.

He rushed in blindly, and would have had his soul shattered by the Un-mother if it had not been for the courage of Kagome. She saved him. She was always saving him, it seemed.

When Sesshoumaru finally figured out the riddle of the black pearl, and stole it from him violently, Kagome was there, rushing into the border between this world and the next, encouraging him to go after his birthright. It was she who released the Tetsuaiga, she who encouraged him. When it seemed as if Sesshoumaru had killed her, Inuyasha experienced power and a drive that he had never felt before. There was someone else he could not protect, one more name to add to the list of people he must avenge. He was just as surprised as Sesshoumaru to learn that she had survived the dousing of dokatsu. He had been given another chance to keep her safe and when he made the vow to protect her, the sword came to life, and he cleaved the arm from his brother, leaving them safe, leaving them victorious.

They went about on their quest, making friends along the way, and it did not occur to them all that Kagome was the glue that held them together until it was far too late.

When Kagome was taken by Urasue, when her soul was stolen to revive a clay puppet that took the form of Kikyou, he felt confused. How could you avenge the death of someone when they were walking the lands again? He tried to protect her, even when she hurt them, even when he knew that what remained of her heart was black with rage, and he ran from Kagome again and again. She had taken back most of her soul, but that last little bit that Kikyou carried was to be his downfall.

HE tried to rationalize his abandonment of Kagome. He told himself that he was still protecting her, after all…part of her soul was in Kikyou, so by safeguarding the undead miko, he was protecting Kagome as well. It was splitting hairs pretty fine, and later he realized that he should have been safeguarding the one that was still alive. He had so much to make up for. All the times she was hurt, all the tears she had shed. All the time she had spent loving him only to be insulted and abandoned time and time again.

No one knows the pain of separation as well as the one who is left behind. Kagome must have felt it. He knew that now. When his brother came to their group and offered a truce, offered peace, after so many battles, he had accepted. Taking down Naraku would take their combined strength, it had just taken them all a long time to figure that out. When Kagome decided to let him go, to look to another for protection and love, he had once again known the pain of separation.

When he saw how happy she was with his brother, he had taken off for a full week, and finally realized that although he had not done things that were in her best interest before, he would do so now. He gave them his blessing, and told her that he just wanted her to be happy. It was hard for him to let go, but he did.

For her.

When the battle against Naraku was won, Kikyou let go of her hold on the piece of Kagome's soul, and finally returned to the earth, where she belonged. She never should have been resurrected in the first place. They made peace with each other, and said their goodbyes. Strangely, it didn't hurt as much as he thought it would. It felt right, it felt like he could finally let go of that part of his past. He was just sorry it had not happened sooner, when he still had the love of the miko from the future.

Kagome and Sesshoumaru decided to become mates after Naraku's death, and he supported them. He fought for their right to be together, and helped Sesshoumaru bring peace to the West. He was, after all, a prince of that realm. While he had never had any designs on life in any of the Imperial courts, she stayed. He might not be able to be her mate, but he could be her brother, and he still cared for her. He never found someone that he could love and protect, but he was hopeful.

No one can know the pain of separation like the one who is left behind. Inuyasha knew this. He was just sorry that his brother had to learn this truth as well. When Kagome died, Inuyasha felt like his heart had died, and nothing would ever ease that pain.

He was wrong.

Each time he looked at InuDaiki, he felt hope. While Kagome was gone, part of her lived on, and he would do what he could to help keep that part of her alive. To protect. To love.

* * *

Prompt: Imperial, Priestess Skye's Weekly challenge ending 12/13/09

Words : 1233 according to MSWorks


	5. Chapter 5

She had changed everything. She never _meant_ to do this, it just seemed inevitable that things had a tendency to change when she was around.

Shippou looked at his family, his little family that was missing it's most important member, it's integral cog, and felt sadness fill his heart. She had changed everything. She never _meant_ to do this, it just seemed inevitable that things had a tendency to change when she was around. Now it seemed as if she had changed things yet again, this time, it was with her absence. Each member of this little pack felt it, and none knew exactly how to right the wrong that her death had caused.

When his adopted mother had finally claimed him as her own, he was ecstatic. He had been orphaned at sixty-eight, which was the equivalent of four in human years. He had wronged her, and in doing so, had shown her that he was honorable. It was strange how that worked. He tried to steal her shards to gain power to avenge his father. After Inuyasha and Kagome defeated the Thuder Brothers and had avenged his father, she saw the loneliness in him and had pressured Inuyasha into allowing him into their little group. He had joined them early on, and had been through all of the trials of the shard hunt with them. While he had looked towards Inuyasha as an older brother, it was always Kagome…Kagome was his mother, his protector, his everything.

It took her four years before she finally called him her son aloud, but he could tell from her scent that she had felt that way for much longer. Whenever he was threatened, her aura would envelop him in a protective barrier that even the Red Tetsuaiga could not breach. She would blaze like a torch, her reiki so strong it would light up the night. She protected him as fiercely as any mother, ningen or youkai, ever could.

When she slipped one night, telling Inuyasha to quit teasing _her son_, it seemed like the entire world stopped to take a breath. All was silent in their camp. Miroku had a thoughtful look on his face, Sango a small smile. All Inuyasha could do was stare. Shippou himself was in tears, and that night was the first that he had called her mother. He had never let a day go by after that when he did not call her thus. All was right, in his world.

Kagome's announcement regarding her impending mating to the proud inuyoukai lord was met with reactions that were very similar. Shippou himself was overjoyed. He would finally have a family again, and with her mating a youkai, he would not lose her to time; her life would not be the short span of a ningen. He would have an eternity with his mother. He would have strong youkai father, one who would teach him all that he would need to know so that he could survive to his mother's birth era. He wanted to meet his _other _uncle and his grandmother, of whom he had heard so much about.

She had changed everything. She never _meant_ to do this, it just seemed inevitable that things had a tendency to change when she was around. She gave him a mother, a sister, a father, and on the last day of her life, a day that should have been filled with joy, she gave him a brother.

She also gave him a hole in his heart.

She had changed _him_. She had helped him evolve from a kitsune child full of sadness into one that was hopeful and full of mischief, but unlike other kits, he was not malicious. She gave him courage, she gave him conviction, she gave him a sense of justice and a sense that all beings deserved to live their life in peace. She taught him to respect all life, and to fight for those that were weaker than he was, because that was what she did. That is what she _was_. She was light in the darkness, calm in a storm, peace in a time of war.

She was goodness. She was love.

And she was gone.

Shippou tried to be a good brother, both to Rin and to InuDaiki. He tried to pass on her light, but it was so hard. Each day, when he saw InuDaiki's face, or Rin's failure to find joy in flowers, or Inuyasha's downcast features, or Sesshoumaru's sorrowful aura, he missed her a little more and realized just what a change she had brought about.

She had changed everything. She never _meant_ to do this, it just seemed inevitable that things had a tendency to change when she was around. She changed everything, because no shadow could survive the onslaught of such a bright spirit, and no darkness could ever exist in the midst of such light.

The light was her love, and without it, the world just seemed like it was a darker place.

* * *

According to MSWorks: 837 words


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